Carl Bernstein invited me over for “a glass of Claret and some home-made rice pudding”, I went reluctantly because his rice pudding is always burnt and I loathe burnt rice pudding, but he does serve a decent glass of plonk and anyway it’s always nice to have an excuse to get out of town. He’d moved to a vast steel and glass structure in the middle of an open plateau just off the North Cascades highway about ten miles or so before you hit Winthrop. The turning is unmarked so you could easily speed on past, then you’d have to double back and hit it from the other direction which is very confusing. I finally got there a little after 3pm, Meryl Streep answered the door, wearing pajamas and done up in her Margaret Thatcher drag. Meryl was smoking a foul smelling clove cigarette, nonchalantly blowing the wretched smoke in my face. Where was Carl, I asked and she gave me that menacing look she is so famous for in restaurants where she constantly manages to scare the pants off of timid wait-staff. “Gawn dahn the pub, aint ‘e!” She spat out in her best Adele impersonation. I quickly trotted past Meryl/Mararet/Adele and hi-tailed it for the library where I was sure to find Michael Caine who usually pretends to be asleep. He affected this ploy, he told me so he didn’t have to chit-chat with, “That bloke who rides his bike all over the bleeding place and won’t shut up about how he once managed The Rolling Stones!” Sir Michael was indeed feigning sleep in the library when I entered and there, sitting crossed-legged on the floor was one-time Stones manager, Andrew Oldham. He was mending a flat bicycle tire, without looking up Oldham said, “Out of all of ‘em I have the greatest respect for Charlie.” He was chewing on a wad of gum. Smack, smack, smack went his peculiarly flabby lips as he rolled the gum around his mouth. “Hate the rest of ‘em! Hey get me a drink would ya, there’s a love!” He said between smacking his lips. I walked over to the bar and poured myself a shot of vodka and made a gin and T for Oldham. I bent down and handed him the drink, “Bloody hell dear, where’s the sodding lemon?” Before I could answer Michael Stipe had entered the room with his usual entourage, The B52’s, Tom Robbins and Daniel Boulud. Stipe was dressed up in a glittery jumpsuit reminiscent of Mr. Freedom circa 1971. He walked over to the bar, looked at the rows of bottles neatly lined up and with a swishy hand gesture said, “But I didn’t do it! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” Just then Sir Michael piped up and shouted, “Well I never did it! Honestly, I never did!” From the look on his face Sir Michael was having one of his anxiety attacks. Graham Nash strode into the room with Meg Tilly in tow. “Come out to the lake-house and we can chat…” He whispered to me. Ms. Tilly made a purring sound as she slinked closely up to Nash and clung onto his arm. She batted her eyelashes a few times and said, “C’mon Graham, let’s go now…I wanna go….aww, c’mon Graham darling!” Nash ignored her and led me out into the garden with Ms. Tilly still attached to his arm. In the distance I could just make out the distinctive silhouette of Charles Barkley playing croquet. Dusk was settling in and a flock of Canadian Geese flew uncomfortably close overhead. There was an overwhelming smell of cut crass tinged with burnt rice pudding in the air…then I woke up.
The latest LE Mix #146 was put together literally as soon as I woke up from dreaming. All the tracks arrived in my mailbox during the last week, running the gambit from Minimal Techno to House to Electronica. They work wonderfully together after I engaged a little bit of careful editing and mixing. For optimum enjoyment, put on your headphones, indulge in your favorite relaxing aid and enjoy dreaming.
LE Mix #146
SP-33 - A Dream Catcher
Cajun Hardt - Untitled
Savile - Being (Amadeus 'In-House' Mix)
Kiasmos - Thrown
Shortcircles - Star Party
Benito - Shakes (Devonwho Remix)
Summerrave Athletes - This Is A Transmission Of The Summerrave Athletes / Part 2
Lucky Dragons - Existers (Matthewdavid Remix)
Yasuo Sato - Gammawave
Image: “I Had A Dream” 2.22.12









